A three finger salute to bad product design

I have been getting cranky lately about products in my daily life that don’t work as well as they should. I’m cranky not just as a consumer, but as a marketer. Because if a product doesn’t work as it should, people are going to bring it back or not purchase again as surely as if you’d made false claims in your advertising. And since life isn’t fair, you may well end up with the blame.

So here are three ineptly designed mass produced products each of which richly deserves a middle finger salute—not just for their design flaws, but because those flaws are so obvious they would have been detected with the slightest hint of usability testing.

1. Glide dental floss tube. Glide is itself a success story of good design: Teflon coated dental floss, so it doesn’t get stuck and break off in your teeth. The idea worked so well that Oprah praised it on her show and stuck a package of Glide under every seat in her studio for the audience to take home.

Now we have an economy size in a tube, at about half the per-yard price and not much more bulk so it’s a no-brainer if you use Glide every day. But guess what: as soon as you start to pull out the floss, the top pulls off and the roll comes unraveled and it’s almost impossible to put back together. I guess they must have several billion of these tubes in stock because they’ve now come up with a Rube Goldberg fix: a disk of clear plastic over the top of the roll inside. The roll no longer comes out, but guess what: neither does the dental floss, making the whole delivery system inoperable. Middle finger salute.

2. Nathan’s mustard plastic bottle. This is my favorite mustard, and it used to come in a sturdy bottle with a tip, anchored with a plastic strap to the rim of the top, that you could use to seal it. Now they’ve got a new design which is designed to self destruct on first use and render the seal inoperable, which I guess means you will want to buy another right away. Not.

Look at the picture and you’ll see it is not at all intuitive how to get the top off. Click on the picture to enlarge it. Oh, there it is, that flat area in front. But it’s hard to get your finger or thumb in and unless you lift it off carefully and perfectly that entire sealing lid is going to break off leaving you with an extra piece covered with wet mustard that is guaranteed to get thrown away. Also, Nathan’s has taken to not putting a label on the bottle and instead just prints on the shrink wrap. Maybe it is rebranded for sale in other countries or maybe they are just hiding from their ancestors. A second middle finger salute.

3. My Gateway laptop. I could go on for hours about all the things that are wrong with this budget machine that could have been avoid simply by copying a well designed laptop instead of randomly assembling parts. But here’s the thing that is most infuriating and ridiculous: a slider on/off switch on the side near the front which controls the wireless. You’re virtually guaranteed to slide the switch at some point if the laptop is on your lap, or if you simply brush it with your hand. It’s easy to do this without noticing and then you wonder why you can’t get your mail or why that Skype call was dropped. Why in the world do they even need a wireless on/off switch in the first place instead of controlling it from the control panel? Middle finger salute.

That adds up to a three finger salute: Control+Alt+Delete. These companies should get these products out of here along with the designers that created them.