Here’s an email typical of many I receive these days. It’s to a business account, and it begins:
Otis,
I hope all is well. I’m not sure if you’re attending the Fancy Food Show in NYC on June 29th – the July 1st, but if you are I thought you would be interested in visiting the Crown Maple booth…
Why do so many marketers these days think it is appropriate, and maybe disarming, to inquire about the recipient’s health as a way to start a mass email? What’s it to them? What business is of theirs? If I’m well I’ll attend the event, unless I get run over on the way, and if I’m not I don’t need you reminding me of it.
Note the odd use of “the” above, before “July 1st”, which suggests the writer is not a native speaker. Could this have something to do with it? The French (this is for a maple syrup product, so I suspect un Habitant at work) have the equivalent phrase Comment ça va but that just means “how’s it going?” which I don’t find at all offensive.
I’m preparing a longer post on the general trend toward faux-casual business email but this stuck in my craw so I couldn’t wait to get it out. There. Now I feel better. Thanks for asking.
Amen to that, Otis! Those email intros go right along with the insincere, chatty ‘What are you doing this weekend?’ patter that bank branch personnel seem to be trained in these days. I’ve been in several banks these past months and am hit with the eerily similar chumminess. What am I doing this weekend? Getting as far away from this bank and it’s long lines as I can! I look forward to your extended post on the topic.
And of course there’s the grandaddy of all slacker phrases (though I don’t usually see it in email):
“No problem”