Words and writing Archives - Page 15 of 18

Aristotle and Twitter at SXSW Interactive

What’s so different about Twitter? And how do you use it to best advantage? One wonderful SXSWi panel, featuring rhetoric professors from the University of Texas, answered these questions by going back to Aristotle, the original documentarian of the use of words as a persuasive medium.

The original rhetoric, as Aristotle described it in 330 BC, was temporal: arguments were oral and words could only be processed in the order they were spoken. Once the written word came along, texts could be read in any order but there was a new limitation, spatiality: once words were put on paper, the printed information itself could not be moved. The web has made possible easily movable written information and Twitter carries this to the logical extreme with a constantly moving stream which is in essence a personal newspaper with an audience of one. (Here I am brutally paraphrasing the segment of Prof. John Jones which can be seen on ZDnet.)

No two people will ever see the same Twitter stream, and you yourself will never see your stream in exactly the same way twice. Yet it is very easy to control and edit your personal newspaper through the people you choose to follow. My experience is that if you start with a few people you find inherently interesting, like @guykawasaki or @broylesa (the terrific food columnist for the Austin Statesman, who stokes my interest in eating and makes me feel like I’m still at SXSW) and then check out @ tags in their tweets to see who THEY correspond with, you will soon build a fascinating stream. And if you’re interested in a topic, whether news or personal curiosity, a # search takes you in another satisfying direction.

Back to the panel, they said the best way to write your own tweets is to take into account the possibility of modularity and reuse. Prof. Jim Brown observed that every tweet has both an intended audience (the person you identify with an @ tag at the beginning, plus your known followers) and an unintended audience (everybody else, now or in the future.) A corollary of this is that the often-levied charge of Twitter narcissism is bogus. “Narcissism isn’t in the status update, it’s in the person annoyed by the update. If you’re annoyed by the tweet, it wasn’t meant for you.”

Apparently last year was the year of Facebook at SXSWi, and 2009 was the year of Twitter. Many of the sessions were specifically about Twitter, and everybody everywhere was twittering away on the new TweetDeck desktop application. We SXSWiers seem to like Twitter very much. Savant and trendsetter Guy Kawasaki was asked in a session to confirm, “If they charged for Twitter you’d probably pay whatever they asked” and he responded “that’s right.”

How to get your envelope (or email) opened

David Ogilvy said that the only function of the copy and art on the outside of an envelope is to get it opened. As a corollary, Herschell Gordon Lewis (I think) said that the majority of the creative energy on a project should be lavished on the outer envelope. Same goes for subject lines in email.

Is this the most effective possible outer envelope teaser?

All of which makes me wonder what was the process by which today’s example envelope got into the mailsteam. You can see it here: the plaintive muzzle of a loveable dog, with the teaser “When your pet dies, will you know what to do?”

It’s from the Olivet Memorial Park, presumably not a huge outfit to whom this project was so trivial they chose the first headline that came to mind. I imagine there was quite a debate. There might even have had a presentation from a copywriter who came up with this head, and told them why it was really good.

There are many motives to get people to open an envelope. Guilt, for example. “Your pet gave to you all her life. Now it’s your turn.” Or just love between a person and pet. “Now there’s a place to share forever the love you have.” But instead Olivet’s advisory board chose the practical way: “When your pet dies, will you know what to do?” There will be a body to dispose of, probably some health laws to follow, hmm. Yet I would bet if you did an A-B split against virtually any emotional headline, the emotion will win every time.

letter and other elements of Olivet package

And on actually opening the envelope, I find that there are indeed some emotional appeals. “Losing a pet is as painful as losing any other family member”… and an offer of a “Pet Memorialization Planning Program”. Putting one of these messages on the outer would certainly have boosted its effectiveness but, like a canny minor league pitcher, Olivet wanted to save its best stuff until last… after the crowds have departed.

As I was writing this, I happened to come across the example “if you died today, who would take care of your family?” web banner and wondered if this was the inspiration for Olivet. But look at the differences. It’s a very clear and specific concern vs “what would you do?” Plus, people trump animals every time.

Work hard on your outer envelope or subject line. Work on everything, but especially on that. If you don’t, you may end up in the pet cemetery.

3 tips for more effective copywriting in a recession

When economic times are bad and marketing budgets are tight, every promotion has to work harder than ever to pay back its investment with increased sales, leads or visibility. The good news for copywriters is that often we can improve return on the marketing investment with better response at no increase in costs, simply by wringing out every last benefit and bringing it home to the reader.

But how do you deliver a positive message when the news all around you (maybe even including the news you need to deliver in your copy) is bad? Here are three pointers.

Rule #1: Don’t go negative. Stick to a positive message in your copywriting.

At several points in my copywriting career I’ve felt like I uncovered a powerful “warning” or “caution” theme that outweighed anything positive I could say. And every single time this approach was tested, I’ve been blown out of the water by a bland and generic benefits-oriented message that handily defeated my negative scalpel twist.

The reason, I think, is that readers go through a filtering process before they get to your copy. Themes like “how to survive the coming depression” may be fine for best sellers, but people volunteered to read those books or watch those TV shows. You, on the other hand, are one flick of the finger away from the recycling bin or a click to the next web page. You have to earn a reader’s acceptance before they will permit you to market to them. And if you scare them on your initial approach, they’ll simply run away.

Tip #2: Be nurturing. Write copy your readers want to read.

Today’s consumers, even business people, are hurting and they want coddling however they can get it. If you can take them to a quiet and reassuring place even for a few minutes, chances are they’ll stick with you till you get to ask for the order.

One of the most successful promos I was associated with was a subscriber acquisition package for Great American Recipes during the early 1990s recession. It became the first non-sweepstakes control for this marketer by delivering a message of comfort and nostalgia:

Remember when good food meant the best times you ever had with your family and friends?

I’m talking about lazy summer evenings serving home-made ice cream on the screen porch. The fine feeling of knowing everything was cooked just right, and there was plenty to go around. The warmth of neighbors sharing recipes, in a cozy kitchen on a cold summer night…

We haven’t even gotten to the product yet, but this was already outpacing “you may already have won” even in tough times. And an extra benefit is that the product I’m selling is depicted as taking them back to happier days… so not only are readers more likely to order, they’re also more likely to keep the product (the initial pack in a recipe card continuity program) instead of sending it back when it arrives in the mail.

Tip #3: Be specific. Believable copywriting is effective copywriting.

Readers are extra-crabby and hyper-sensitive when they feel threatened. Even more than usual, they’re on the alert for flabby generalities and statements that are not supported by facts. The truth is your antidote, but you also need to be very clear in your writing so readers know you’re telling the truth.

Non-profit fundraising writers know about this challenge because for them, times in are always bad which is why they are raising money. Herschell Gordon Lewis shares a great example of bad fundraising copy, a letter that stars with a sentence something like “Around 2 million people in the western Sahara will go hungry this summer”. The word “around” is the deal breaker. If the writer didn’t care enough to find a more exact number, why should the reader care?

The other challenge is that huge negative numbers seem overwhelming. It’s terrible if famine threatens a region, but what can I as an individual do to help? On the other hand, if I understand that my $100 contribution saves 40 children with diarrhea, that’s that is something I can manage. Apply the same rigor to your benefit statements or descriptions no matter what the product or service, and you’ll be better off in bad times.

A promotion that follows all these rules is a lead generation letter for a major insurance company. It’s about long term care insurance and it starts with the “bad news” that Medicare is not going to cover your expenses in retirement like you thought it would. The lead sentence of this letter is what makes it work and it’s actually very close to something I heard from a salesman during a brainstorming session:

Every one of us would like to live well in our later years and leave some money for the next generation. Is that too much to ask?

Unfortunately, this modest dream could be shattered if you one day need assisted care in a nursing home… in fact you have a 40% chance of being in a nursing home after age 65. A nursing home stay can be expensive, averaging more than $180,000 nationwide. And it can be demeaning, robbing us of our choice and dignity.

Fortunately, Long Term Care Insurance is now available from ((client name)) that helps retain the very options that expensive long term care takes away…

This delivers one specific jolt of bad news (and carefully modulated outrage) but immediately provides the solution for it and proceeds to coddle and nurture the reader for the rest of the letter. It’s been the control for going on 10 years and I expect it will only do better in the current economy. Try the same formula in your own writing and see if you don’t succeed, good times or bad.

NOTE: I’m in the process of installing the contents of my DMA “Copywriting that Gets Results” course on this website. Watch for more articles and pointers coming soon.

FSIs (newspaper inserts) and the Super Bowl

Newspaper coupons grasp at 2009 Super Bowl

Three years ago, I did a post on newspaper inserts and the Super Bowl… and how snack manufacturers contort themselves to create a “big game theme” without ever actually mentioning the Big Game, which is a copyrighted product with big licensing fees attached. Looking at this past Sunday’s crop of FSI’s, it’s reassuring to see that nothing has changed. The nation’s economy may have melted down and the web has transformed marketing for most products, but for salty snacks and their teammates it’s still “game on”.

Smirnoff offers us a “smart choice for your super party”. Newman’s Own wants you to “go natural for the big game”. Tums will let us “enjoy the game heartburn free” while Pop-Secret popcorn promises a “home field advantage” and Hersheys wants us to “treat your home team” to a “candy bowl blitz”. Marie’s salad dressings invite you to “tackle the taste” and Dean’s Cool & Creamy exhorts you to “bring the ultimate dip to the ultimate game.” You can also “score one for the home team” with Ling Ling egg rolls, say “it’s good!” [umpire with upstretched hands holding up two hamburgers] for White Castle or enjoy “football food… ready for game time in minutes” from El Monterey Taquitos.

It’s clear that the marketers are doing an end run around the NFL by not mentioning the Super Bowl by name, and that the NFL has dropped the ball by not figuring out a way to bring them into its licensed marketing huddle. But more important, there’s a flagrant violation by most of these marketers because they forget that coming up with a catch-phrase is not the same as selling a product.

And so the winner, in overtime, is an ad from Butterball cold cuts with the theme “One taste brings the party together”. Because after all, the reason these marketers are trying to tie in their products to the Super Bowl is that you’re going to serve them at a party—and here’s one marketer with a generic ad (originally created around the election, maybe?) that says how their product is going to make your event a success. Touchdown!

Copywriting that Gets Results!

The first time I taught my copywriting course for the DMA, I called it “Direct Response Copywriting”. After the initial semester I realized I should be practicing what I preach and I retitled it “Copywriting That Gets Results”—a description that, like all good direct response copywriting, contains a benefit for the reader.

RESULTS can be measured in orders, sales dollars, leads generated etc. But they can also be measured in success in landing a job or convincing an audience of your political views, among many other potential examples. And one of the best reasons to develop the skill of “copywriting that gets results” is that it helps you become more successful anytime you want to use words to convince someone.

Robert Collier put it this way in his 1930’s classic Letter Book: “Little Willy wants an extra slice of bread and jam; sister wants 15 cents for the movies; Dad is scheming how to get out of the house for lodge that night, and Mother is planning to have Dad sweep out the cellar–while around the corner the Preacher is planning a visit on the household to make it more church conscious and one and all, have their own pet ‘TESTED SELLING SENTENCES’ they plan to use on one another!”

This is the first of a series of posts in which I’ll reprise the DMA copywriting class which I’ve taught for several years in the bay area, most recently at UC Extension. Please check back often, or just subscribe to the RSS feed.

Words matter… in election materials too.

I’m working to elect Barack Obama as President, so I found myself grinding my teeth when I found this self-description of Barack in the “Easy Voter Guide” produced by the California Secretary of State and containing content produced, I suspect, by well-meaning interns and volunteers:

STATEMENT: Now is the time for our country to come together and bring real change to Washington and bring an end to the policies of the Bush Administration. I am in this race so that we, as a unified nation, can be a beacon of hope for the world again.

TOP PRIORITIES:

End the war in Iraq and refocus our efforts in Afghanistan.
Sign universal health care legislation by the end of my first term.
Put America on the path to a clean and secure energy future.

MY CRITIQUE: There were two things that made my teeth hurt. First, the choice of the word “race” in the statement. No reason to bring that word front-and-center people who are already thinking about it. Would have been just as easy to say “I am running for President so that we…”

Second, the priority to “refocus our efforts in Afghanistan”. What does this ambiguous and jargon-y statement mean? Transfer our troops from Iraq to Afghanistan and fight a big war there? Or just take a fresh look at what we’re doing in Afghanistan? And what about the rest of the world? Why not something like “End the war in Iraq and focus our nation’s efforts on mutual respect and peaceful resolution for conflicts throughout the world”?

You may say that nobody reads voter pamphlets. But what if 1 in 100 voters actually does, and 1 in 100 of THOSE voters are affected in some way by this or another statement? If there are 10 million voters in California that’s 1,000 votes! Words matter, even in election materials.

Winning the control

Winning a “control” is a holy grail for direct mail copywriters (this old-school term has not morphed to the web and email as far as I know). The control is the standard mailing that others are tested against; it’s the one that has consistently performed best over time. Win a few controls and you can start raising your hourly or project rate.

But here’s the problem. Apart from publishers who mail millions, clients can be a bit flakey about “awarding” the control. One client in financial services told me a package could not become the control unless it beat the old control by 20%. That’s a huge edge in a regulated industry. But he was limited by his tight operating budget: a 15% lift in response might produce profits, but changing over all the forms at the printer and tracking cost money and he had to draw the line somewhere.

This month I’ve “won” two controls win a way that shows how quirky this process is. The first was a #10 envelope package for a Long Term Care insurance company that beat the old control by 100%. But what I did was to take the existing control, a self mailer that was also written by me, and change the copy slightly and put it in an envelope for better stage management. I’d been advising my client we should do this for years so my win is nice, but not a creative breakthrough.

The second win was for a company selling education in how to be a financial success. I’d written a package and they tested it and the results didn’t reach their threshold. A year later they discovered 10,000 unmailed copies of my package at their printer and decided to test it again. It beat everything. Voila, new control.

What makes a good advertising slogan?

If your business was here you'd be home now

When I was a cub account guy long ago, I got a presentation from the radio advertising folks. They played a reel with a bunch of familiar jingles and then delivered the punch line: all of them had been off the air for at least 10 years. The good jingles had the original “stickiness” (a term which, today, means a website or other communications vehicle where you’re compelled to stick around and spend extra time)—you couldn’t get them out of your head.

Another evidence of a good slogan—that’s a jingle that doesn’t necessarily have a soundtrack—is seeing it get morphed into variations by someone who knows the audience will remember the original and recognize the relationship.

This photo of a roadside sign was taken on Route 30, a rural route that runs through the Adirondacks in upstate New York. The sign’s writer is using a variation of the advertising slogan “if you lived here, you’d be home now” which many suburbanites have seen while idling in traffic and passing a close-to-town subdivision. I’m pretty sure it is a piece of boosterism for the village of Speculator, a couple of miles north. Changing “home” to “business” makes it nonsensical, and putting the sign in this remote, tranquil and totally noncommercial location adds a rich helping of irony. I’ve just inducted it into my outdoor advertising hall of fame.

Personalized Landing Pages… how “personal” should they be?

Two of my agency clients have recently done extensive testing of personalized landing pages, in which a unique URL is assigned to each person on their mailing or email list and respondents click through to a web page that is just for them. The results have been very different.

Client #1 does primarily ecommerce sites, and their approach to personalizing the landing page was to offer products of specific interest to the customer based on purchase history. Client #2 does business-to-business leadgen. Their personalization was mainly about offering information that was versioned by industry.

Client #1 saw virtually no difference in response from their PURLs, while Client #2 saw a 20-30% increase in registrations. How come? I haven’t mentioned that Client #1 doesn’t make a big deal of the customization on the page, while Client #2 almost overdoes it with use of the name. (“Otis Maxwell, here’s your personalized offer!”) This suggests that, even in cynical and more sophisticated times, folks still love to see their name in print and to believe some care has been taken to respond to their unique needs.

Interestingly, the leader in personalized web marketing has backed off somewhat from its original approach, introduced maybe a decade ago. And we can be sure that Amazon.com does extensive testing. While at the beginning they’d say “based on your recent purchases we think you’d like… “ or some such now it’s always third person “people with your browsing history also viewed…” So maybe there’s a point where too much apparently intuitive knowledge seems creepy. And by allowing its plumbing to show, Amazon is letting folks know there’s no creepy surveillance going on.

Lost in translation

Every writer has a story about the manuscript left in a taxi, or the memoir lost in a hard disk crash. Mine is a virtually complete ecommerce website where, instead of transitioning from the development site in Brazil to the live site in the US, the developers did the opposite and overwrote all my hard work with the existing site that was already there.

This is not a fun thing to discover in the wee hours and since the transition was still in progress, the first thing I did was grab as many pages as I could before they disappeared like Michael J. Fox in “Back to the Future”. Then I got lucky because it turned out they could restore most of it from a backup…. all but about 15% of the content which were the first pages I’d written at the start of the project. So, of course, those were in need of revision anyway.

In rewriting, I’ve been surprised by how much I “remember”, either because I’ve got good notes or because the content I wrote is still lodged in a recess of my brain. And this is a not atypical story. Robert Benchley had a vivid sleep experience where the details of a story were fleshed out and he scribbled furiously for hours and woke to find this note on his bedside pad: “write book”.

In my case I was seduced by a “front end tool” which allowed me to type in copy which was immediately reflected on real live web pages…how cool is that? But now I’m backing it all up to Notepad (actually not, since I use a Mac, but an equivalent) as I write. Klunky, but appropriate.