Words matter Archives - Page 6 of 12 - Otis Regrets... or not

World Wildlife Foundation bags it in new promo

I may have been a bit tough on World Wildlife Federation in my last diatribe. (Though it’s fascinating how many people search for “should we let the tiger go extinct?”) So instead of slamming their new direct mail deck, I’m going to assume there was a bit of slippage between the creative brief and the execution and suggest some ways they can tighten it up.

On the front of the OE (the most important part of the entire package by far) we have the teaser, “Say no to plastic bags! See inside to learn how….” There’s a WWF logo as a corner card but it could just as easily have been WTF since it’s a complete disconnect with the teaser. On the back we have…. Plastic bags! Four of them, your gift when you “Show the World You’re Helping to Save the Environment” (note the Needless Use of Title Case, a telltale sign that nobody is minding the store).

I can see the copywriter and designer brainstorming this concept… sort of like the songwriting team in Smash, sticking index cards on a board then standing back and regarding them with furrowed brow… while the account director mutters in the background like a hapless Greek chorus.

Copywriter: “Here’s an idea. Lots of people would like to stop using plastic bags but they have no idea how. Let’s show them!” Designer: “I love it! Plus, we’re giving away our own plastic bag as a premium. Since we know they’re into plastic bags, let’s send them four instead of one.” Account director: “Doesn’t that send a mixed message? And what does that have to do with saving wildlife anyway. Oh, never mind…”

Inside, it comes together somewhat. There’s a buckslip that explains when you get your totes you’ll “carry them everywhere and help reduce the use of plastic bags.” And if you’re looking for the connection between wildlife and plastic bags, you’ll find it near the bottom of the first page of the letter, sort of: “The average American uses 350 plastic bags each year. And they don’t just end up in landfills… they end up in oceans, too. Every year more than 100,000 whales, seals, turtles and birds die as a result of plastic bags.”

WWFinside — Inside the WWF "plastic bags" promo

I turn the letter over, looking for details, and there are none. I know about the ghost sea of floating plastic in the Pacific off Hawaii, larger than Rhode Island. I imagine there are some ghastly Greenpeace-type tales to be told of birds getting their beaks caught in plastic bags, or animals choking on them. But the WWF copywriter does not bring it home with these details because they seem to have taken a vow about saying anything that may seem too harsh or negative. But wait a minute. Aren’t we raising funds for an environmental not-for-profit? Isn’t making people feel the pain what it’s all about?

I think the original assignment was “build a package around our free tote bags”. This is already a challenge because there is not an obvious and immediate connection between tote bags and wildlife. Somebody then decided to make it “educational” by helping people “learn” how to stop using disposable bags… that’s a rather condescending message to this audience which I expect is already environmentally savvy. And education in general (this package also has a “special insert” I am supposed to read called “10 Simple Things YOU Can Do to Help PROTECT the Earth”) is a deadly tactic for direct response. They aren’t going to stick around till the end of class, so you better ask them to reach for their wallet as soon as the tardy bell rings.

Really, the only way to make this package work is the simple logic of a/plastic bags kill animals b/here are some grisly ways c/you can stop the suffering by accepting our free gift. But the WWF’s creative team is into happy talk so they can’t do that. Time to bring in a new game warden.

The ultimate great client… my dad

My dad died a few days ago, peacefully, at the age of 96. As we prepared for the memorial service, I talked to a number of people who had worked with him over the years in his capacities as director and editor of the Southern Methodist University Press, publisher of the Southwest Review, and book editor of the Dallas Morning News.

I knew about his own personal trial during the McCarthy era: an SMU prof had published an anti-Communist screed with tones of anti-Semitism, my father responded with a critique in one of his publications, and the professor tried to get him fired and succeeded in getting him and colleague Margaret Hartley up before an tribunal by University officials on charges of disloyalty. They were cleared.

But I was reminded of countless other incidences of editorial backbone as when a Methodist bishop complained about the galley proof of a short story containing a good amount of street language. “Bishop,” my father responded, “you don’t talk that way and I don’t talk that way, but the character in this story talks this way so I’m going to publish it.” And he did. He never brought these incidents home and in most cases he never even mentioned them.

He was my own editor a few times for high school papers, critiquing punctuation or grammatical decisions which I felt to be negotiable. I never remember him actually suggesting I change the meaning of any passage but I know he did—so subtly that I did not realize he was doing it or so persuasively that I thought the change was my idea. In that sense he was the ultimate great client: standing up for the integrity of the editorial matter because his responsibility was to make it as good as it could be while retaining the author’s voice.

Thank you Daddy. Rest in peace, Allen Maxwell.

How to be a great client

I recently started working with a great new client. The relationship is so enjoyable and productive, I wonder why all client/creative relationships can’t be this way. If you are a client, here are a few things you can do to make this happen.

1. Care about your job. If you treat your advertising as just another mechanical process that you get paid for, it’s hard for your copywriters to get enthusiastic. The truth is that what you are doing for your company is terribly important because, like Roy Chitwood says, nothing happens until somebody sells something and your efforts are what make the sales begin. Believe in what you are doing and it will show and I will work harder for you.

2. Get your shit together. Nothing is more disheartening to me than to have a bunch of stuff dumped on me that my client hasn’t read and isn’t familiar with when I ask questions. If it’s not important enough for you to review and organize the source material, why should it be important to me? That overused word “curate” is relevant here. Like a museum director, you should curate the research documents so I can discover each one in proper context. And, needless to say, you should include a creative brief.

3. Set realistic schedules. Given enough money, yes I can meet that tomorrow morning deadline. But there’s a hidden price for that. I need time to explore options and if you always begin with an impossibly short deadline (doesn’t matter whether it is your own disorganization or client pushback, the net effect is the same) you will lose valuable creative development time while paradoxically paying more. It’s also much less satisfying for the copywriter or art director because they know the finished product might have been better if they had more time.

4. Provide constructive feedback. Don’t say you don’t like it. Don’t unilaterally rewrite it. Instead, tell me in as much detail as you can what you think of my copy and why. This particular great client couldn’t decide which of my headline approaches (long vs short) worked best so they put them in layout so we could both look at them together. Now I am falling all over myself trying to do the best possible revision.

5. Defend the work. Don’t come back and tell me we have to water down a marketing statement or replace strong copy with jargon because “sales won’t accept that” or “this may be too edgy for our reader”. You clearly outlined the project and any sacred cows in the creative brief (you did write that, yes?) and if the end product follows that direction your responsibility is to sell it internally. It is my personal hunch that push-back from sales is a sign of fear: they aren’t confident in their ability to do their job so every effort to support them is looked at with suspicion. Don’t get sucked into this zero sum game. Confidently defend your marketing decisions because you believe in them. (See #1 above.)

6. Say thank you. If you follow the above steps you will get a pretty amazing creative result so don’t forget to say you are grateful. And don’t be surprised if your creatives are just as grateful and continue to do their best work on your behalf.

7. Pay on time.

Why copywriting is like selling (part 7)

It is hard to avoid sexual analogies with the “close” but I will try. This is the part where the sale wraps up and the salesperson gets the act of commitment—a satisfying reward for handling the previous steps in a methodical and unhurried manner. The copywriting counterpart should be just as satisfying because this is where you get your reader to respond to your call to action; if you have a good and smart client, the higher percentage of people who respond, the more you will get paid.

Because it is so important and satisfying, salespeople like to linger a bit on the close and add a bit of art to it. There is lots of ink on best/proven/classic closing techniques. A good salesperson will first make a trial close in which they soften up the prospect to get them to agree to a small point before proceeding to the actual sale. (Example: “Sounds like the hatchback is a better fit for your family’s needs, am I right?”) Then they might use the assumptive close in which they act as if the sale has already been consummated and query on a subsequent point (“Will you be using a credit card for this?”) or the alternative close which also makes an assumption and gives the reader a subsequent choice (“Now, do you want that in red or black?”)

Roy Chitwood, whom I’ve quoted throughout this series, offers The Guaranteed Close: “If we can (reprise something the prospect said was important) then can you think of any reason we shouldn’t (consummate the agreement)?” E.g. “If we can get those red slipcovers you liked, can you think of any reason we shouldn’t get the paperwork started?” The beauty part is that the salesperson gets the sale by making the prospect say “no”.

Good direct response copywriters will close the sale in a manner that’s quite different but leads to the same outcome. They will sprinkle their emails, web pages or letters with repeated brief calls to action because you never know when you’ve provided the right amount of sell for some readers to make a commitment. Then, for those who have stuck with you all the way to the end (this applies mainly to classic long-form direct mail letters), reward them with a wind-up in which you:

Spell out in detail all the benefits that are waiting for the prospect, accompanied by a description of the response options available (today it’s usually click the link or call).
Couple this with your guarantee that proves there is absolutely no reason NOT to say yes.
Include a limited time offer if you have one, or penalty for NOT responding. (Only 25 attendees can be accommodated to insure personal attention to each student! This guide is available in very limited quantities and when they’re gone, they’re gone!)

Then you’re done… as is this 7-part series, in which we have mused upon how good copywriting follows many of the same formulas as face to face selling. If you’ve joined us late, please go back and start from the beginning. Thanks for reading!

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.

How copywriting is like selling (part 6)

The general public has an image of “pushy salespeople” who cajole or badger them into buying something they don’t want or need. But good salespeople don’t actually do this. Instead, after they have presented the benefits of their product or service they will tease out any objections in the prospect’s mind and then respond to those before closing the sale.

Objections, also known as FUD (fears, uncertainties and doubts), are perceived reasons not to make a purchase that is otherwise attractive. By making an objection, the prospect is giving the salesperson a clue about something important to them. And by completely and correctly answering the objection, the salesperson can actually increase the prospect’s commitment level.

For example, if the prospect says it’s too expensive the salesperson can point out how it will actually save money, how not having it is costing them money, how the price is likely to be higher tomorrow. If they say they want to shop around the salesperson will ask what they’re looking for from the competition and then prove how this product solves the problem in the best possible way.

So how does a copywriter answer objections, when you don’t have the reader in front of you to gauge their reaction to your written sales pitch? One answer is research—which can come from talking to a sales rep or product manager, reading up on the industry you’re selling to, or ideally from information in a good creative brief. You’re looking for big objections—the top one or two reasons buyers don’t buy—because that’s all you have time to respond to in your copy without getting off track.

A good example is the control direct mail I wrote for Geneva, a merger and acquisition consultant which wants to get business owners to attend a free seminar on how to evaluate their business. (The letter from this package is available on my website.) The #1 objection that business owners put forward was that they couldn’t admit to themselves (or to their employees) that they would consider selling the business. So we created a lift note that said just that with a pull quote on the outside: “I’m not about to sell my business… not after all the work I put into it!” And inside they read the story of a peer who felt the same way, but got a fabulous offer for more than he thought the business could possibly be worth. Objection answered.

Also, if you’re selling via direct response, certain objections come with the territory since customers can’t touch and feel the product. Will it work as advertised? What if it’s delivered and I don’t like it when I see it? And the answer is to paint very clear word pictures of how great it will be to use the product so the reader starts to visualize themselves doing just that, successfully, and becomes invested in your pitch. Couple this with a strong, clearly stated no-risk guarantee and you’re on your way.

Next time: we’ll conclude this series with thoughts on “The Guaranteed Close”.

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.

How copywriting is like selling (part 5)

According to sales trainer Roy Chitwood, every prospect makes the same 5 buying decisions and they always make them in the same order:

1. About you… are you a person I want to do business with?
2. About the company you work for or represent.
3. About your product or service.
4. About the price of the product or service you are selling.
5. About the time to buy.

Most copywriters spend all their time on step 3. But if you haven’t established credibility and trust, it doesn’t matter how appealing your product or service is because your audience doesn’t believe you are capable of providing it. And until you have created a need in the reader’s mind, it doesn’t matter how affordable it is or if you can buy one get one free for a limited time. (Which is why it’s rarely a good idea to use a price discount offer in prospecting for new leads.)

In my copywriting class we go through a role playing exercise where one student is a salesperson following Chitwood’s Track Selling method, and the other is the owner of a small insurance agency acting as the prospect. The prospect needs a new high speed copier but is concerned about cost and ease of use. However, they are also embarrassed that the current copier makes poor copies that do not represent the agency well. It’s the salesperson’s job to dig out these needs and concerns (which are described on a briefing sheet the salesperson does not see) and get an act of commitment.

This exercise happens shortly before lunch the first day, and I usually have two or three pairs of students go through it. Very few of these students have ever sold anything face to face before. The exercise gives them new respect for the concept of selling through your copy, as opposed to the straightforward presentation of technical features which is what most of them do in their marcom jobs.

Yet the salesperson’s job is easier in one way, because they have the prospect in front of them and can modify their pitch on the fly based on audience reaction. Next time: how you can too, sort of, in the way you handle objections and FUDs.

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.

Why copywriting is like selling (part 4)

If you’ve been following this series you are now at the point where you have a good idea of the buyer’s interests and concerns. It’s time to show how your product and service matches those interests and solves those problems because it always does, right?

A tyro copywriter will do this with features: throwing out a razzle-dazzle of technical information and forgetting to tie it back to the reasons people buy. (Remember, prospects may evaluate a product logically but their ultimate buying decision will always be emotional.) An experienced copywriter will always translate those features into benefits… how a technical characteristic answers one of the many cravings we talked about last time.

Even better is something called “FABS” which I was trained in when working for a home entertainment chain way back when. This is features, ADVANTAGES and benefits—describe why it does, explain why this is an advance or a superior solution compared to other products that claim to do the same thing, then drive home the benefit. It’s especially useful in selling high-tech products.

(In a live selling situation, a good salesperson will pause after presenting each FAB to gauge the prospect’s interest level, then adjust the presentation of the next FAB accordingly. You don’t have the benefit of the face-to-face contact as a copywriter, which is why it’s extra important to do your research or have a good creative brief.)

In my copywriting class (which is usually techie-heavy) I do an exercise where we pass a #2 yellow pencil around the room and each student has to present a feature, advantage and benefit of the pencil. This gets very interesting when it’s a large class and all the obvious FABS are claimed early.

For example:

FEATURE: the pencil is bright yellow.
ADVANTAGE: I can easily find it compared to other writing instruments.
BENEFIT: I enjoy peace of mind because I’m never without a way to express my thoughts.

FEATURE: #2 pencils are the standard used for computer graded tests.
ADVANTAGE: I know I have the ideal technology to complete the assignment.
BENEFIT: I won’t have to worry about getting marked down because my answers can’t be read by the computer.

And here’s one that came out late in the exercise in a large class:

FEATURE: #2 pencils can be sharpened to a very sharp point.
ADVANTAGE: That point sticks easily in the acoustic tiles when I throw it up at the ceiling.
BENEFIT: I have a way to amuse myself when the class gets boring.

Next time: the five buying decisions… and why buyers always make them in the same order.

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.

Why copywriting is like selling (part 3)

Professional salespeople never forget they are selling to a human being, because that person is right in front of them. Copywriters, though, can become confused. They satisfy the requirement of filling a technical need, and forget there is a person signing the purchase order or keying in the credit card number. Unless personal emotional gratification is delivered, the sale may fall through because your solution is not perceived as relevant or important.

Why do buyers buy? Bob Stone, in his classic Successful Direct Marketing Methods, details the two categories of human wants: The desire to gain, and the desire to avoid loss.

Robert Collier, the “Giant of the Mails” who was at his peak in the 1930s, lists six prime motives of human action:

Love
Gain
Duty
Pride
Self-indulgence
Self-preservation

And here are Roy Chitwood’s six buying motives:

Desire for gain (usually financial)
Fear of loss (again, usually financial)
Comfort and convenience
Security and protection
Pride of ownership
Satisfaction of emotion

Note that every one of these is EMOTIONAL…people buy emotionally, not logically. This is true even when selling business products to people in a business setting, because people are still people.

Next time: features, advantages and benefits.

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.

Marketing in an Optum haze

Optum is a new entity cobbled together out of previously separate entities for medical billing, online pharmacy, health newsletters and other services to “help navigate the health care system”. The name was trademarked in February 2011, but I just came across it last week in an expensive inside front cover spread in the New Yorker prescribing “to improve the health care system from A to Z, start with O”.

The pharma industry has a way of coming up with invented names that sound like they mean something but actually don’t. “Abilify” and “Boniva” being a couple of my favorites. I expect the naming committee at this company must have had a chest bump moment after they realized they could create a new word simply by chopping the middle out of “optimum”.

But I think there are reasons that “Optum” remained available long after “Humana” and “Zoloft” had been gobbled up. First, two-syllable words that end in “um” tend to sound mundane, downbeat and occasionally risible when spoken, instead of soaring. Try pablum, problem and yes, rectum.

Second, as we’ve mentioned previously, the lazy or hurrying reader often misplaces letters and sees in one word another similar word that isn’t there. In this case my eye immediately placed the missing “i” where “t” was written in the ad, making for a most unfortunate result (at least for a medical company).

Words have the power to sell, but also the potential to hurt your marketing efforts. When one of those words is the name of your company, that’s an extra big problem.

Don’t be that guy!

Check out “that guy” on Urban Dictionary. It’s a meme for our YouTube centric times. Whether you’re Rick Perry who can’t count to three or the graduate who still attends high school dances, now your boneheaded moves are up for review and we can all shudder, and deliver bromantic advice, by saying “don’t be that guy”.

Another phrase which I thought was local in upstate NY is “I like me some….” It’s usually delivered in a self-deprecating way, as in “I have a Ph.D in Nanotechnology but I still like me some wings with Buffalo sauce.” A scholarly article suggests it is from the south but that’s in general referring to usage of an extra and unnecessary pronoun. I say “I like me some…” is a 2011 way to endorse something while simultaneously disavowing in case it turns out not to be cool.

Language is a moving target. These phrases might make it into long term usage or they might be the next “you’ve got mail”. (Remember? If you don’t, thanks for reading an oldster’s blog, young padawan.)

My father was a book editor and we used to argue, almost to the point of coming to blows, about the placement of periods within quotes. As in, Steve Jobs turned to Bill Gates and said, “My OS is better than your OS”. I say the period goes outside the quote unless we know that the speaker delivered a complete sentence vs. a phrase quoted out of context. My father said that the period always goes within the quotes, regardless, because otherwise it was impossible for the typesetter to keep track of the tiny slivers of lead.

Now that type is set on the computer, we can evolve. I am claiming the “acceptable usage” if not the “correct” badge on this one. And by the way, typesetter working with tiny slivers of toxic lead all day long? Don’t be that guy.