Tag: Words matter

Should we let pandas go extinct, or tigers? World Wildlife Federation wants to know.

Pandas, tigers, bears... oh, my.
Pandas, tigers and bears... oh, my.

In the Biblical Book of 1 Kings, Solomon must judge which of two women is the mother of a baby and, as a marketing experiment, he offers to split it in half. The bogus mom says “go for it” while of course the real mother says “she can have it, spare my child!”

This lesson was not lost on the new crop of marketers who seem to be in place at the World Wildlife Fund. They worry about which species you might like to support, so they give you a choice. Select a panda, polar bear or tiger, and to hell with the other two.

Of course, that’s not exactly what is happening. WWF wants you to “choose your favorite species” and they will send you a “symbolic adoption kit” consisting of an adorable stuffed panda/tiger/polar bear, matching tote bag, adoption certificate and “information brochure” when you make a commitment of $8 per month.

What is wrong with this campaign is a tone deaf absence of common sense. If you are a person committed to supporting threatened nature, “choose your favorite species” is fingernails on a chalkboard or a punch in the solar plexus. And as an adoptive parent I can tell you the concept of “symbolic adoption” is like that turd in the pie in The Help—gag-inducing repugnant. Adoption is like pregnancy. It is or it isn’t, no qualifiers allowed.

The devils that infest this package do more damage in the letter, whose first paragraph in its entirety is “You hear it every day:” Holy endangered pythons. Can you imagine a worse way to begin a letter than by acknowledging I am going to talk to you about something you already know? Then the final and fatal self-inflicted wound is delivered in the response device which, after all the lead-up in the letter and doubtless the campaign planning, reassures on the panel the recipient sees when opening the envelope that this is a “one-time gift”.

I actually have some inkling where this misbegotten concept originated. When my older son (not the “symbolic adopted” one) was about 4 years old, his big sister gave him an adoption certificate for an Asian tiger he was going to save through her gift. He was bummed because first, he wanted a stuffed tiger and second, he did not think he was up to caring for a real tiger.

You can see the wheels turning at WWF’s marketing department, before they came off. Great idea for grandparents! The kids are confused by the idea of “adoption” so let’s make it “symbolic”. And since polar bears, pandas and tigers are all just so cute, let’s give them a choice which they want to protect!

Sorry if I am on a bit of a high horse here, but we are not selling Bass-O-Matics®. This is a legitimate and well established not-for-profit with a very clearly defined mission. The sin, and let’s use that weighted word rather than just calling it a boneheaded mistake, was in forgetting a/who we are and b/who our audience is and c/where our mission and message intersects with their passion and desires.

If you’re a copywriter with recurring clients, you know this. An experienced WWF copywriter never would have come up with this concept because you have your client’s brand statement stapled on the wall of your studio if not tattooed on your brain pan. Pandas, tigers, polar bears, there’s room for everyone. Can we all get along?

Who are you writing to? The marginal prospect.

After I had been working as a copywriter for several years, and long after I stopped trying to get my big break in the film business, I realized why I had never sold a screenplay: I didn’t try hard enough. (Well, the quality of the work may have had something to do with it too…) I’d be so full of myself at the end of my final draft that I’d just drop it off at the desk of an agent or reviewer and wait for the adoring comments and contracts which somehow never materialized.

Many mediocre copywriters have the same problem with their work. They don’t realize that telling a story isn’t enough. They need to sell it, by continually staying on form with benefits to tie into features and urgent appeals to act now and avoid missing out. And, they need to reach deep into themselves to continually entertain or move the reader so they can keep them on the hook.

Here, as elsewhere, the 80/20 rule applies. 40% of your audience (if you’re lucky) may be predisposed toward your product or service and don’t really need to be sold. Another 40% will never buy no matter how persuasive you may be. The final 20% is your audience: the marginal prospect who may buy, but only if you persuade them. Keep that marginal buyer in your sights and you will be less likely to become either discouraged or complacent.

This post is excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS!

Publishing my ebook on FastPencil

Longtime readers may recall that I started my career as a writer, but not a seller, of screenplays. A special frustration of this status is that a screenplay is not a freestanding creative work. It’s not “done” until somebody makes it into a movie.

It used to be the same with the vast majority of book manuscripts which were lovingly and carefully written and then launched into an unappreciative world. If a publisher turned you down you could print it yourself at a vanity press but the distribution list was limited to friends and relations.

The phenomenon of epublishing has changed this scenario in a major way. Now anyone writing a book can indeed expect that it will be published and distributed if you’re willing to pay the modest sum to register it on Kindle, Nook and similar channels. The market may or may not love you, but you can now say to anyone who crosses your path, “I’ve got a book!”

I have now built out and edited much of the content in the “Copywriting 101” category to create an ebook called “Copywriting that Gets Results”.  Initially I planned to use Amazon’s Kindle platform but after reading some reviews I chose to go with FastPencil.com. They made it especially easy for me to import blog posts as a working manuscript and they offer a choice where I can publish on their site for $9.99, or get wide distribution (a number of ebook sites, including Kindle, Nook and others) as well as the setup for a physical book (to be printed on a per-copy basis as required) for an all-inclusive fee of $199.

I chose the latter, and the finished product is now available on FastPencil and will propagate to other epublishing sites over the next few weeks. I was originally going to sell it for $9.99 and then offer a $3 discount to Otisregrets readers, but FastPencil doesn’t allow couponing. So I am publishing the ebook at $6.99 and offering a preview for free; you can also order a hard copy for $14.95 plus shipping.

FastPencil is by no means perfect. Their free publishing format has limited flexibility because they would like you to pay extra for “Silver” or “Gold” level services which come with more design choices and some consultation. And there were some technical glitches along the way which were quickly handled by their support team. But I was determined to make the free tool work in the same way I was determined to make the Copyblogger WordPress style work when I stared my blog. Free is good.

So, I’ve got a book! Now go forth and buy the ebook or printed copy and while you’re at it, sign up for a free FastPencil membership which allows you to do your own publishing. (That’s an affiliate link so by using it you are helping to support this blog. )

How to write a white paper

White papers, properly executed, are the gold standard for a specific type of marketing in which you convince prospects that they should do business with you because you know so much. Professional white paper writers abound in Silicon Valley and other tech-heavy territories and they typically charge $10,000 and up to write a document that ends up as 10 or more dense 8 ½ x 11 inch pages. But the rest of us may be called upon to write a white paper as part of a larger assignment for a client, and today’s tips are for the writer in that scenario. These tips are also for you if you are a marketer who would like to produce a white paper internally.

1.  A white paper is not a selling document. If your insights are really just a bunch of sales points, that’s not a white paper and positioning them as such will do you more harm than good. Save the product benefits for the product brochures. Your white paper should describe a problem that people in your prospect’s situation might face, or a new business or technological development they need to know about, that just happens to be relevant to your product. It’s ok to put a tie-in summary section at the end but not really necessary; your reader will connect the dots.

A good example is a white paper I wrote for EMC called “When Content Matters”. Content is structured information inside a database, which is managed by EMC’s Documentum product. Microsoft had just come out with a light version of content management in its latest version of Office, and our job was to convince the reader that their content was so important it should never be trusted to such a “basic” solution. Documentum was hardly mentioned until the end. Instead, the paper built a case for the complexity and diversity of content so that the reader became concerned and disoriented and was yearning for an escape from Microsoft—which we eventually provided.

2. A white paper is not an academic document. Some of my readers may be old enough to remember “white papers” that used to be trotted out by American presidents and politicians to support a war or other untenable proposition. They were supposed to be authoritative because they appeared scholarly, and the same goes for marketing-driven white papers today. But never forget that you are actually selling something, behind the scenes. In fact, some of the most effective papers I’ve seen are documents that take actual research (complete with the footnotes and raw interviews or statistics) and summarize it in a way that is understandable to a lay reader; along the way, you can politely steer them into the appropriate point of view.

3. A white paper is written for a specific audience. Academic studies often begin with the desire of the researcher to solve a specific problem which can be of very narrow interest. You, the marketer, need to begin with the audience and figure out what is important to them. Often the same information can be presented in different ways to different audiences. For example, I did two papers to educate physicians about  electronic health records (EHR). One was sponsored by a peer association and focused on how EHR was going to help them practice better medicine. The other was for a medical billing company and focused on how EHR was going to increase profitability and help them get paid faster by Medicare.

4. A white paper should capitalize on the expert knowledge within your client’s organization. Every company is full of subject matter experts, and this is your/their opportunity to turn that knowledge base into something fungible. Product managers, for example, spend their lives explaining technical features in a non-technical way. Sales managers understand the pain points that move prospects to a buying decision. Customer service people know the problems that cause the most headaches in the daily lives of your customers. Interview a few of these subject matter experts and the white paper may start to write itself.

5. You can create a sort of “poor man’s white paper” by mining existing resources. These might include third party analysis or reprints which you have permission to use, combined with a few sales documents which are meaty instead of full of fluff. You might even consider including a product quick-start guide if it’s well written. The combination of resources becomes your “fact kit” or “info kit” which, appropriately presented, can become much more than the sum of its parts.

And if you don’t have the budget to pay for reprints, an alternative is to put the info kit on a web page (the fulfillment page after the prospect has registered on a landing page) with brief descriptions and links to the source documents. Presto, now you’ve created a white paper without actually writing for one and without paying anybody. Wait, don’t do that. Hire a starving copywriter instead.

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.

A big fat lie

I’ve previously written on the topic of lying with statistics, an easy though dishonest way to manipulate your marketing message because consumers assume if it has lots of specific numbers attached to it, it must be true.

This week we had a great example of statistical manipulation in the new report “F as in Fat: How Obesity Threatens America’s Future 2011” which was jointly issued by the prestigious Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the noble-sounding Trust for America’s Health. Here’s the meat of it:

“Twenty years ago, no state had an obesity rate above 15 percent.  Today, more than two out of three states, 38 total, have obesity rates over 25 percent, and just one has a rate lower than 20 percent. “

My god, that’s shocking. No wonder newspapers and TV reporters coast to coast have picked it up more or less verbatim. But stop and think about it.

Suppose we went from zero obese states (which we’ll define as a state with an obesity rate over 20%) to 10 or 15 in that twenty-year period. That would be front page news. But this report said we went from zero to 49 states. From not a single state having a high obesity rate, to every state except one in this category.

Or, let’s look at super-obesity states (which we’ll define as a state with an obesity rate over 25%). Twenty years ago that definition would not have even registered, since every state but one was under 15%. Now two out of three states are in the mega-colossal, super-obese category.

Sure there are a bunch of fatties around. But don’t these statements seem simply incredible on the face of it?  Could it be that in those 20 years…..

…. Somebody had changed the definition of obesity?

And in fact, yes, that’s exactly what happened. In 1998 the National Institutes of Health introduced the Body Mass Index and 25 million Americans went from fit to fat overnight. They didn’t binge on salty snacks from dusk till dawn; their condition was simply the consequence of a change in the way overweight was defined.

I’m not saying obesity is not a problem. Of course it is. But look how easily the statistics can be manipulated and how hungrily the mass media will gobble them up.

Does your copy have a “voice”? Should it?

One of my favorite direct mail letters of all time came from someone called the “Scripps Center for Executive Health”. The first few paragraphs go like this:

Dear Mr. Maxwell:

In the next 30 seconds, someone will die of a heart attack. In the next 53 seconds, someone will have a stroke. In the next 60 seconds, someone will die of cancer. All in the U.S.A. And have I mentioned that about one-third of all deaths from cardiovascular disease occur prematurely, before age 75.

Hello, Mr. Maxwell… I’m still trying to get your attention.

Let’s face it. We men tend to resist health advice rather stubbornly. If you agree, remember that the difference between my male stubbornness and yours is what I’ve seen as a physician. So if you think you don’t need what I’ve been writing you about, here’s one more wakeup call:

You need a wholeperson picture of your health.

This letter is wrong on so many levels, but most of all it’s the voice. The writer starts by throwing cold water in the reader’s face although he can’t resist being a wise guy with the “have I mentioned”.  After shouting at me in the indented subhead, he puts his arm around my shoulder but I am going to push it away because I don’t feel like being friendly with this person who was so recently pummeling me. Too late, he reveals something that I would have no way of knowing—he’s a doctor. Then he morphs into a new age healer with the deadly invented word “wholeperson”. At this point I threw the letter in the trash—though fortunately I retrieved it so I could share it with you.

A letter is always “from” someone and if you don’t keep your voice consistent you will give your audience one more excuse to head for the exits while your play is still in its first act. The most common error (you see this in television infomercials, too) is to build rapport with a personal and emotional tone, then break the spell with a hard sell call to action. Or, to speak to the reader in a human, personal way and suddenly switch to jargon or legalese.

On the other hand, you can help your cause by adopting an appropriate persona such as the subject matter expert, the fellow enthusiast, or the kindly mentor (this is the character that often sells product to a senior audience, and it may be what my wholeperson writer had in mind before the letter went off the tracks.)

Other media can have a voice too, even if it’s a catalog or informational website. The writer is the friendly, approachable tour guide, anticipating the reader’s needs and questions. And an occasional aside can make it more interesting: I once did a catalog of repetitive sports fan merchandise (the same bobblehead or jersey, repeated with a description for every team you could imagine) and it helped keep the interest of the reader to invent a copywriter who was the owner’s assistant, making his own comments on the items.

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.

How to look at a copywriter’s samples

This article is written for the people who hire and critique copywriters… the hallowed “client”.

You’ve got an ad, website or direct mail package to be written and you’ve got a slew of samples, emails and letters from copywriters in response to your LinkedIn or Craigslist post. How do you separate the real candidates from the posers? Here are a few tips:

1. Realize that the samples in front of you are the best work you’re ever going to see from these writers. If they care about the job at all, they will have hand-selected an assortment of work for your eyes. If a writer doesn’t show you anything that knocks your socks off, pass.

2. Look for work that’s a good fit with your own project. Legitimate experience with your major competitor is ideal. At the very least, the copywriter should provide work that has a parallel to your own project, pointed out by the writer. For example, an insurance writer can probably make the transition to selling financial products since both are about security and money. And a writer in one highly regulated industry, such as banking, can probably make the transition to another, such as pharma. Once again, if the copywriter doesn’t provide anything that is a match then they are disinterested or else they truly have no relevant experience.

3. Look for work that shows how they can handle a project from beginning to end. Copywriting isn’t just about a great headline or “I wish I’d thought of that” entry point. It’s also unfolding a product’s benefits in a clear and methodical way. It’s about a call to action that is specific and motivating.  The best samples to demonstrate this are a classic “long form” direct mail package or else a digital campaign that includes landing pages. In these examples you’re not looking for brilliance, but follow-through.

4. Look for a broad fit to your corporate personality. If you’re a stolid B-to-B marketer and all the writer can show you is edgy gen-y work, there’s something wrong. Not with them, but with the matchup. If they had more relevant examples, you’d be seeing them.

5. Evaluate the query letter or email as its own example of copywriting. Selling is selling, and if they don’t make a persuasive argument that is relevant to your needs then you should be suspicious. And especially if their are typos, grammatical errors or misspellings in the document, pass.

6. After you’ve reviewed the samples, if they are in physical vs. electronic form, RETURN THEM TO THE WRITER. This holds true even if it’s a stack of color copies; the writer spent time and money to prepare them. Keep in mind that there is a special circle in hell, right next to Leona Helmsley’s dog Trouble, reserved for marketing managers who “misplace” a copywriter’s last sample of a prized work.

The end of “edgy”

One of the side benefits of tough economic times is that fewer clients are asking for “edgy” work. Edgy we’ll define as “different for the sake of different” but it is also has an element of cool. It’s a special request of marketing managers who want to be able to show around their work and get the compliment, “ooh, that’s edgy!”

So what’s the problem with edgy? Good creative grows from a solid understanding of product and audience and a calculated plan to put the two together, which may or may not produce something never seen before. If you’re selling an insurance product it’s not likely that it will meet the edgy test without being irrelevant and ridiculous. But maybe you could sell a new movie in an edgy way… or maybe not.

In the great article on Pixar in the May 16 issue of the New Yorker, John Lassiter remembers the first time he pitched the movie “Toy Story” to executives at Disney. “They said, first, ‘You absolutely can’t have “Toy” in the title, because no teenager or young adult will come see the movie.’ And second, we had to make the characters ‘edgy.’” Can you imagine Woody as a bleary has-been with a Nixonian 5 o’clock shadow? That’s Disney’s “edgy” version which was ultimately tanked in favor of the thoroughly traditional cowboy who is now part of movie iconography.

Anthony Lane, the writer of the Pixar article, advises dramatists to “avoid anyone who talks about edgy, apart from a practicing mountaineer.” Same goes for those mini-dramas we call advertising.  Most creative briefs have a section about the voice of the copy, and it’s fine to request a fresh and unexpected tone and the copywriter will do their best as long as it doesn’t compromise the core marketing message. But please, no “edgy”.

How to read a copywriter’s work

This article is written not for copywriters, but for the people who hire and critique them.

You’ve hired a copywriter to write your project, and here they come back at you with their first round, hopefully on time and with no budget alarms going off. Now it’s your job to give honest, specific critique that will enable them to go to the next draft. Here are a few tips. (This article was originally about long-form direct mail copy, but I believe it applies to web pages and even banners and short ads.)

1. Remember that you only get one impression to have a first impression. So, clear your desk and your head and close your door if you have one. If the copywriter is sitting anxiously in your office, ask them to go away.

Now, start by giving the copy a quick scan from the perspective of the intended reader. (If you don’t know who this prospective reader is, you better find out before you read the copy.) Let it sell you. If it leaves you flat, you may have a problem. You’ll analyze why as you continue.

Then go back and read it again, several times, applying a different test each time. (I am borrowing these filters from either Bob Bly or Ed McLean, thank you gentlemen. It is even more productive to come up with your own filters depending on your specific knowledge of your business.)

  • Is it logical? Is there a premise that is established up front and then supported throughout? Are there logic errors, things that don’t make sense, which can distract the reader?
  • Is it emotionally consistent? The emotional pitch could be high, low, ironic, satiric… but it needs to stay the same from beginning to end.
  • Is it clear what is being sold or presented? Is the product or service presented in such a way that the reader grasps its big benefits quickly then understands additional benefits as they read on for more details?
  • Is it clear what you want me, the reader, to do? What is the call to action?

2. Now make your notes for the writer. Remember that CRITIQUE and CORRECT are not the same thing. If you take a pencil and start aggressively marking up the copy, the writer will step back…they’re no longer fully invested in the project because you’ve taken over part of their role.

It’s far better to describe what you are trying to accomplish on a high level, then leave it to the writer to interpret and execute. Instead of telling them what you want, tell them what you want to happen. It’s their job to find a way to execute.

As usual, David Ogilvy has something brilliant to say on this point: “Don’t keep a dog and bark yourself.”

3. Now it’s time to meet with the writer—in person, on the phone, or by email. Be careful. Even very experienced and thick-skinned writers get irritated when they feel a client isn’t giving their many hours of hard work the respect which is due.

It’s never a bad thing to compliment a writer on a job well done—but mean it when you say it. Don’t start with faint praise that turns into a slashing attack. If you’re up to it, you can use a positive statement to transition to a critical one: “I really liked the way you described the benefits of the whole life plan. But the term life description just didn’t seem to have the same level of enthusiasm.”

As you get into specifics, refer to the creative brief. (You did give the writer a brief, right?) That way you can use an intermediary to smooth the conversation. It’s not you that says their copy is off (if it is), rather it just doesn’t follow the creative brief.  A good writer will not only follow the brief but will be ready to defend sections of the copy where the brief was difficult to follow, and that is helpful.

And most important, never say “I don’t like the copy” or anything negative without supporting your statement with specific examples and logic and without being able to offer equally specific solutions for problems you bring up. It’s lazy, emotionally manipulative and unproductive to dislike the copy on personal grounds and it’s not likely to get you a better product in the next round.

4. Agree on what happens next. As a copywriter, I quite often have my first rounds accepted with minor changes because I have been diligent about executing a clearly executed assignment. Don’t be afraid to just say, “I like it and here’s your check.”

But if you’re asking for rewrites be very specific about what you want and why, and follow it up in writing with an email to the writer. And be sure to include the next schedule milestone.

How I became a copywriter

I would guess that relatively few people spring from the womb and say, “I’m going to be an ad copywriter when I grow up”. More likely you have an aptitude for writing and you discover copywriting as a way to make a living, or else you are asked to write copy as part of another job and discover you’re good at it.

I came from the first group. I went to film school to become a rich and famous screenwriter, but I turned to freelance copywriting as a way to support myself until I got my big break. I actually did apply for the proverbial “job in the mailroom at J. Walter Thompson” but I didn’t get it; my first assignments were writing sale catalogs for department stores. I liked the challenge of finding a way to say something meaningful about a product in a paragraph or two, but it never occurred to me that I was actually selling something.

After a few years of this, I went into one of my department store clients, The Broadway, to see if there were any copywriting assignments coming up. There weren’t but the direct mail advertising manager had just quit and so I was offered that job. For the first time I became accountable for my results—defined not as whether the designs were pleasing and the writing clever, but how much we sold on a per inch basis. It was a revelation, brought home to me when Jan Wetzel, the VP of marketing at our company, took me around to various stores in the chain on the first day of the sale and we watched customers waiting in line to pay for the very same products we had featured in our catalog.

I had a couple of other “suit” jobs, including one where I was the ad director of a company that sold tools by mail. The orders came in by phone so I could see when we had a hit because the switchboard would overflow to the receptionist and she’d be too busy to say hello. I found myself excited about coming into the office on the first day after a new mailing hit, to see if this would happen. Again, a link between copywriting and results. Amazing.

I could only take the suit for so long and eventually I went back to freelancing and buried it in my back yard. (I assume it’s still there, at the intersection of Occidental and Westerly Terrace in Los Angeles’ Silverlake district.) But I had learned the life lesson that successful copywriting is not about gratifying yourself and maybe winning an award or two with a clever concept or turn of a phrase. It’s all about making something happen—and the more significant your impact, the more a knowledgeable client is likely to pay you for your work. It’s copywriting that gets results.