copywriting Archives - Page 6 of 15 - Otis Regrets... or not

Beware, legal beagles at work

How would you like to win a new Ford “Focus”? Probably not a lot because putting the name in quotes is akin to a wink. It’s not really a Focus but a Yugo with a Focus skin of some sort. Or, it’s a cake in the shape of a Ford Focus. Whatever, your response is likely “do not want” and that’s bad news if there is a copywriter who wrote that promo and is getting paid for it.

I mused on this when I saw this ad in the NY Subway last week. And those aren’t really quotes around the word “Focus”. Click on the thumbnail and look at it full size and you’ll see there is actually a register mark after the “Ford” and a TM after “Focus”. WTF?

What is happening here is that some legal beagle is trying to justify their paycheck, unfortunately at the expense of yours. By mindlessly second-guessing the concerns of some other legal beagle in a second company who is also trying to justify their paycheck, they will insist on a trademark or register mark every time a brand is mentioned. They may also insist on the insertion of qualifiers when none are needed, eg changing “you’ll enjoy driving this car” to “you may enjoy driving this car”.

Why is this harmful? First because it’s idiotic. Second because the little rat-turd looking legal marks clutter up the visual appearance and make the copy difficult to read. Third because it removes any artifice that makes it seem that your communication is “real” vs. hucksterism.

I once backed a very senior legal person into a corner at a large publishing company. They told me that if you use a register mark or other qualifier the first time you mention a brand name on an element, and either credit the owner in a footnote or else simply say that “all trademarks are the property of their respective owners” then you’re good. If it’s a multi-component direct mail package you’d need to do this once on the outer envelope, once on the letter, once on the brochure and so on. Then you’re covered. Anything beyond this is legal self-gratification and self-manipulation and you should fight hard against it.

Welcome back, Lands End copywriter!

: Got to love an all-copy cover!

In my copywriting class I use the Lands End catalog as an example of great catalog copywriting. They are unexcelled at building on details about a fabric or a tailoring process until it becomes irresistible. The story may be about a buyer’s obsessive desire to solve a fitting problem, or about the scientific process by which a synthetic fleece can be light yet warm. Often it’s accompanied by personality profiles of a tailor or a happy wearer.

If you are used to seeing Lands End catalogs in the mail, you probably have no idea what I am talking about… because in fact the examples I use are well over a decade old, before Lands End was acquired by Sears. Recent Lands End catalogs are pretty much like any other midrange fashion retailer’s.

Which is why I was so excited by the spring Men’s book in the mail last week. The cover and the first six pages are all about Irish linen. “We could bring you assembly line linen at a lower price but wouldn’t you rather have the real thing? Here’s the very best, the linen of knights and kings, fearless RAF pilots and world famous rogues.” That’s the headline of the opening spread and I’m already reaching for my credit card even though not a single product is sold here.

The sell begins comes on the next spread, which educates us about the fabric: “Linen comes from long, golden fibers encased inside the woody stalks of the flax plant. Extracting them takes months, which is why fine linen is so prized. The basic steps have changed little from the time of the pharaohs…” Note that these are generic descriptions of linen, but because Lands End takes the trouble to research and tell us its story, the fabric becomes uniquely theirs by default.

The next spread is about linen pants and it has a little repetition, making me wonder if they hired some superstar copywriter and could only afford a few copy blocks, which were then cut and pasted to create new ones. If so, I hope it’s one of the old crew lured out of retirement.

If you received this catalog, take a close look at it… there’s much to be learned. (And order from it, so Sears will discover hard sell is not always the best sell.) If not, I’m delighted to find there’s a continuing feature online called “Anchors of Style” (terrible non-descriptive title incidentally) in which part of the linen story is currently available here.

Specifics sell… provided they’re the RIGHT specifics.

We talked recently about the importance of being specific in your selling copy. Now here’s more. 381 words more, to be specific.

I found an interesting example of specific selling on the Marketing Experiments Blog… the same folks who brought us the fascinating subject line contest. A marketer changed this line on an ecommerce page:

Simple Fix for Blown Head Gaskets

to this one:

Repair Blown Head Gaskets in Just One Hour

The result? Combine with some other redos, the second headline brought a 58.1% (no, not “nearly 60%”) increase in conversions. Of course you want to know what those other redos are and in fact there was a considerable redesign. But the most important thing about the page didn’t change: a decision to show the actual product, which is obviously a liquid in a bottle.

If you have ever done work on internal combustion engines, you know that a permanent solution for blown head gaskets does not come in a bottle. You have to take the heads off and replace the gaskets which is a time consuming, dirty job. Presumably this liquid is some kind of magic sealant which will ooze into the cracks or warped areas and plug them up, thus reducing the loss of compression which is why blown head gaskets are a problem. But it sounds kind of too good to be true, right?

So if I see “a simple fix” and then a bottle, I’m going to reject it before going further. But if I see “repairs in one hour” then I might consider it; that’s not a big commitment and I will also notice the page offers a money-back guarantee. The ad is engaging with me in a context where I will find its selling proposition acceptable.

This case history (which is presented in an online class that lasts nearly an hour, so it’s great value for the bargain price of free) demonstrates the importance of the RIGHT specifics in your marketing proposition. “Simple fix” is actually a pretty good phrase… two powerful selling words in there. But it’s the wrong message to this audience about this product. “Repairs in one hour” is more specific but more important it’s credible. Good job to the copywriter and the rest of the team for doing their homework.

47 reasons that specifics sell in copy

Herschell Gordon Lewis has a great example about the value of specifics in copywriting. It’s a fundraising headline to the effect of “about 200,000 children will die of starvation in Africa without your help.” The word “about” sucks the urgency and empathy out of the statement like a needle puncturing a balloon. If the copywriter didn’t care enough to find out a more accurate number, why should you care?

Specific numbers and statements help prospects visualize what they’re actually going to get when they respond to your advertising. Specifics are more believable and smell less like puffery. Specifics are also a kind of rite of passage for a copywriter… they show your bosses, your clients and ultimately the recipient that you’ve done your homework.

Which is more credible? 100% pure, or 99.44% pure? The latter, obviously. It’s also better than 99.99% (a number you frequently see applied to IT system uptime and other quality-controlled processes) because it’s so random it could only have been arrived at through careful research. (Bonus question: what is the product, and when was the slogan first used? You probably know the first answer but I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at the second. Proves that good copywriters have known this strategy for a very long time.)

Which is more credible? 30 days to a better figure, or lose weight fast? The first one, and 29 or 31 days would have been even better because of the apparent randomness as noted above.

Bad: many reasons to buy now. Better: 10 reasons to buy now. Best: 9 reasons to buy now. If there really are only 9 reasons, why pad it to get to a nice round number?

I realize I’m far short of 47 reasons, but I think I’ve made my point. And by the way, have you ever noticed how often the number 47 appears in narratives, especially science fiction narratives? One reason is that it appears to be the ultimate random number. But actually, it isn’t.

Are you still surprised?

Viewers of this year’s NCAA March Madness On Demand see two commercials over and over again: a Buick ad where Peter Frampton sits in for the missing guitarist in the bar band, and a Coke Zero where a guy about to be executed by firing squad gets his last wish “and … ?”

Both are great spots the first time you see them because they rely on the unexpected, and they continue to be enjoyable the next few times as the message sinks in… then they become really, really irritating. The fault is not so much with the creative as the media buy: who knew they would be played to the point of exhaustion? Well, somebody did, but they didn’t bother to inform the creatives.

But actually there is something wrong with the creative: in both cases it has nothing to do with the product being sold. I bet you didn’t know that was a Buick ad till I reminded you (I had thought it was Hyundai, till I went back and checked). A desire for “more” could be applied to any of life’s positive experiences. These ads never go beneath the surface which is one reason they get tiresome so quickly.

If you’re creating campaigns and messages, think about the implications. Is there a way to make your message evergreen so people continue to be receptive after multiple viewings or readings? Think of a book or movie you like that becomes more interesting the second time through. What is it that keeps you involved… a story twist you didn’t notice the first time? Maybe a subtle graphic detail? And the plot itself is probably deeply satisfying, like the stories that ancient peoples told over and over till they became part of their identity.

Is there a way to make your ad that good? It’s worth trying, at least.

You are in the top 2% of copywriters… now prove it!

At the conclusion of my 2-day copywriting intensive for the DMA, there is a graduation ceremony. I tell my students thanks to what they’ve just learned, they have a better chance of success than 98% of professional copywriters… and I mean it. By understanding some basic selling techniques, how to organize and present their work, and how to manage copywriting as a business, they’re way ahead of the game in terms of winning controls, getting promotions, or making a living as a freelancer.

There is currently a great opportunity for you to prove that you’re smarter than the average bear, at least as a copywriter. The Marketing Sherpa/Optimization Summit people are having a subject line contest! The email’s already written (to promote the event, obv) and you just need to add a subject line which you will do by entering it as a comment. A few semifinalists will be chosen by a panel of experts and then these will actually be tested in email transmissions, and the best subject line gets a free pass to the conference. (It’s in Denver at a great time of year, early June, and it’s worth $1900.)

And, since the submissions are in the comments field, you can read what your competitors are coming up with. (Not all of them though; there’s a glitch on the website that keeps some comments from being presented.) You may well think, as I did after reading a few of them, that you can do better. So go for it!

If you want to brush up your skills before packing your bags, read a few posts from the Copywriting 101 category on this website. Or better yet, buy my book. And yes, I plan to enter the contest myself, so bring your best game sucka!

JC Penney “splashy march” promo

Splashy March cover — splashy march cover from jcp. The jcp logo in the shirt collar has been Photoshopped out but a loose thread at the botom right of the shirt remains.

I’m not a JCP customer nor prospect. I didn’t watch the Oscars so didn’t see the Ellen ads though I just now YouTubed them and thought they were great (unlike the majority of the TV audience apparently). Thus, like a lot of folks, my first exposure to the “NEW” JCP was the insert in today’s Sunday paper. If you have one, pull it aside before your partner or spouse puts it in the recycling because it’s worth a study.

JCP’s competition in my local mall includes Target, Old Navy and Kohl’s, all value brands that are trying to look cool and hip (Kohl’s less so than the others) while maximizing floor space. What’s going to make me take a fresh look at the “new” JCP now that former Apple (and Target) guy Ron Johnson has had a few months to get settled in?

How about an opening spread that announces the new “Fair and Square” pricing and uses a universal commodity, like polo shirts, to illustrate it? Red is everyday, white is month long values, blue is a markdown. Got it. So let’s show one example of each. Let’s also make a great offer to get people back in the store, like a free 8×10 family portrait with no strings attached.

This isn’t what happens. The opening spread sells nothing except the picture of a mom in heels (presumably purchased at JCP, but with the intent of looking like Manolo Blahniks) who is gearing up her toddler for a splash in their inground pool visible through the open doorway. Goofy, yes. JCP customer, no. We do get to the polos but not until the next spread, and without the pricing explanation. Further, they’re not on models and they’re still shots, wrinkled. Questionable choice since JCP’s new image seems to focus on “fun” people and models work very well later in the book while also showing off the product with bright hide-no-detail lighting.

I actually sat down to talk about the copy though. I wrote retail fashion early in my career and it’s hard. But at the core of the “look” there is always a human benefit to be found. The book title, “splashy march”, simply doesn’t make sense unless it’s an in joke about “merch”. The double meaning instinct moves into high gear a couple of spreads later: “when we say we’ve got you covered we really mean it… talk about a spring break!” (As in price, apparently. But wait a minute. Doesn’t JCP’s new positioning focus on the fact there is NOT always a sale going on?)

Adult supervision finally arrives at the soft goods section in the back: “This shower curtain is not only washable, it also resists mildew. What is it about spring that makes you want a fresh, clean start?” On message and it sells. What’s so hard about that? Watch and learn, JCP fashion copywriter.

And that free portrait offer? It’s here on the inside back cover (actually a hot spot that’s one of the most-read spreads in a catalog) but buried next to a wacky family portrait that again will probably make the JCP customer feel uncomfortable vs thinking “those are my peeps.”

I kept thinking about the great Lands End catalogs of yesteryear, before they were acquired by Sears. Great selling and great stories hand in hand, with the latter used to showcase the former. That was what JCP could have used here.

UPDATE: since this post we’ve seen three more Sunday flyers from JCP. The “mandarin orange” fashion issue was great. The home store this week not so much. Also, the binding was different: saddle stitched for fashion, loose pages for the home issue. What’s happening is a lot of territorialism between different creative directors and the different departments. For a messaging re-do like this to work, you really do need to have buy-in across the board.

It’s halftime in America

I just about wet myself the other night watching the spot during the Super Bowl. Very gutsy that Chrysler would spend God knows how much to run a 2 minute spot that could only run … during halftime in a single football game. After watching I had tears in my eyes and was about to run out and buy a Chrysler 300.

But reviewing it today a couple of nits. Clint Eastwood does not have the Detroit cred of Eminem, even though “I’ve seen a lot of tough eras, a lot of downturns in my life.” (I wondered if he actually was born in the Motor City and looked it up. No: San Francisco, CA.) And honestly as the spot began I was thinking it was a Clint Eastwood voice imitator (he was there but in shadows) and by the time he showed up I was almost irritated that it really was Clint. And of course the parallel to the Hal Riney “It’s morning in America” Reagan ad was a distraction for anyone who remembered.

The observation that “the fog of division, discord, and blame made it hard to see what lies ahead” was also a calculated risk on timing which I think misfired. Carl Rove says that’s a political attack which is for sure protesting too much. The producers were simply going for a chord of empathy, assuming we would be in the midst of hard times when they made the spot but the economy seems to be looking up so it doesn’t ring true for at least one viewer.

So, I still prefer Eminem’s spot last year. But I still think I will buy a Chrysler in the form of that little Fiat that morphs into a giant woman dressed in red and black in another Super Bowl spot.

How to be a great client

I recently started working with a great new client. The relationship is so enjoyable and productive, I wonder why all client/creative relationships can’t be this way. If you are a client, here are a few things you can do to make this happen.

1. Care about your job. If you treat your advertising as just another mechanical process that you get paid for, it’s hard for your copywriters to get enthusiastic. The truth is that what you are doing for your company is terribly important because, like Roy Chitwood says, nothing happens until somebody sells something and your efforts are what make the sales begin. Believe in what you are doing and it will show and I will work harder for you.

2. Get your shit together. Nothing is more disheartening to me than to have a bunch of stuff dumped on me that my client hasn’t read and isn’t familiar with when I ask questions. If it’s not important enough for you to review and organize the source material, why should it be important to me? That overused word “curate” is relevant here. Like a museum director, you should curate the research documents so I can discover each one in proper context. And, needless to say, you should include a creative brief.

3. Set realistic schedules. Given enough money, yes I can meet that tomorrow morning deadline. But there’s a hidden price for that. I need time to explore options and if you always begin with an impossibly short deadline (doesn’t matter whether it is your own disorganization or client pushback, the net effect is the same) you will lose valuable creative development time while paradoxically paying more. It’s also much less satisfying for the copywriter or art director because they know the finished product might have been better if they had more time.

4. Provide constructive feedback. Don’t say you don’t like it. Don’t unilaterally rewrite it. Instead, tell me in as much detail as you can what you think of my copy and why. This particular great client couldn’t decide which of my headline approaches (long vs short) worked best so they put them in layout so we could both look at them together. Now I am falling all over myself trying to do the best possible revision.

5. Defend the work. Don’t come back and tell me we have to water down a marketing statement or replace strong copy with jargon because “sales won’t accept that” or “this may be too edgy for our reader”. You clearly outlined the project and any sacred cows in the creative brief (you did write that, yes?) and if the end product follows that direction your responsibility is to sell it internally. It is my personal hunch that push-back from sales is a sign of fear: they aren’t confident in their ability to do their job so every effort to support them is looked at with suspicion. Don’t get sucked into this zero sum game. Confidently defend your marketing decisions because you believe in them. (See #1 above.)

6. Say thank you. If you follow the above steps you will get a pretty amazing creative result so don’t forget to say you are grateful. And don’t be surprised if your creatives are just as grateful and continue to do their best work on your behalf.

7. Pay on time.

Why copywriting is like selling (part 7)

It is hard to avoid sexual analogies with the “close” but I will try. This is the part where the sale wraps up and the salesperson gets the act of commitment—a satisfying reward for handling the previous steps in a methodical and unhurried manner. The copywriting counterpart should be just as satisfying because this is where you get your reader to respond to your call to action; if you have a good and smart client, the higher percentage of people who respond, the more you will get paid.

Because it is so important and satisfying, salespeople like to linger a bit on the close and add a bit of art to it. There is lots of ink on best/proven/classic closing techniques. A good salesperson will first make a trial close in which they soften up the prospect to get them to agree to a small point before proceeding to the actual sale. (Example: “Sounds like the hatchback is a better fit for your family’s needs, am I right?”) Then they might use the assumptive close in which they act as if the sale has already been consummated and query on a subsequent point (“Will you be using a credit card for this?”) or the alternative close which also makes an assumption and gives the reader a subsequent choice (“Now, do you want that in red or black?”)

Roy Chitwood, whom I’ve quoted throughout this series, offers The Guaranteed Close: “If we can (reprise something the prospect said was important) then can you think of any reason we shouldn’t (consummate the agreement)?” E.g. “If we can get those red slipcovers you liked, can you think of any reason we shouldn’t get the paperwork started?” The beauty part is that the salesperson gets the sale by making the prospect say “no”.

Good direct response copywriters will close the sale in a manner that’s quite different but leads to the same outcome. They will sprinkle their emails, web pages or letters with repeated brief calls to action because you never know when you’ve provided the right amount of sell for some readers to make a commitment. Then, for those who have stuck with you all the way to the end (this applies mainly to classic long-form direct mail letters), reward them with a wind-up in which you:

Spell out in detail all the benefits that are waiting for the prospect, accompanied by a description of the response options available (today it’s usually click the link or call).
Couple this with your guarantee that proves there is absolutely no reason NOT to say yes.
Include a limited time offer if you have one, or penalty for NOT responding. (Only 25 attendees can be accommodated to insure personal attention to each student! This guide is available in very limited quantities and when they’re gone, they’re gone!)

Then you’re done… as is this 7-part series, in which we have mused upon how good copywriting follows many of the same formulas as face to face selling. If you’ve joined us late, please go back and start from the beginning. Thanks for reading!

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.